In my 20s I had a very leisurely life, especially on the weekends. I got to sleep in, go shopping, brunch with my friends, lay around all day (most likely hung over from whatever bar I had been to the night prior) and do whatever I pleased. This Saturday when we were booked with plans all day, I realized how different my life had become. 

Our regression in social activities happened over a long period of time. Before my husband I got married, we would go out EVERY weekend with our friends. A big group of us would get together and “pre-game” at my husband’s condo where the bars close by await for our arrival around 10:30pm (omg that’s late!). When we got engaged my husband moved in with me to my townhome which was outside of the bar scene. This is when we stopped going out as much. We still had a lot of fun but it was naturally our time to settle down. It felt good, but somewhat sad to give up this life. Our friends were in the same stage so dinners filled with wine and good conversation filled the space of nights out at the club, until our daughter was born. 

When Amelia was born I was beyond tired and stressed, this is when our social life greatly declined. When I finally found myself again after months of staying in my PJs everyday, it was hard to figure out our place in the social world. Trying to explain our reasoning for dinner so early or bringing our small baby to dinner wasn’t so easy. Thank goodness we had joined a baby group when I got pregnant and we met 7 other couples who were having babies around the same time as us. After figuring out our new social life with baby, it became easier to meet with new friends and get babysitters to meet up with old friends. 

Last Saturday we had plans all day which included brunch with friends and their kids, a fall festival and dinner plans with another set of friends with their daughter who is a day older than Amelia. I know my life has changed since my twenties but I really didn’t know how dramatic the change was until really thinking about it. 

Sleeping in on Saturdays turned into an early session at bootcamp (if I can squeeze it in) and early mornings with my daughter. My leisurely showers and hour to get ready turned into skipping my shower because I don’t have much time for myself so a face wash, little bit of tinted moisturizer and a splash of perfume will do. Mall time turned into nap time and nights out turned into nights in with friends which include takeout and watching the kids play in the yard. 

Don’t get me wrong, I do miss the days of less responsibility and crazy unforgettable nights (or forgettable?). These days I’m really happy with the family life. On occasion I do miss our old life but that’s when grandparents and babysitters come into play. I’ve been working on planning ahead to make sure we are social with and without Amelia and more importantly finding time for my husband and I to be on our own. Balance is such a hard concept when I’m so committed to being a mom but I’m working on that week by week! 

Written by Sam Lapid

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